I Am Not Life’s Boss

Today… a note to self.
And to you…
should it happen to apply.

A reminder to myself that…
I am not God.

As in… I am not in charge.
Of life.
Of reality.
Of the world.

I am not the arbiter of how things unfold.
Or how they ought to.

I’m not the one in control.
I’m not the boss of things.
I’m not the steerer of the ship.
I’m not the captain.

I’m not the orchestrator.
Or the conductor.
Or the ministrator.
Or the master manipulator.
Or the 5-D chess-player.

I don’t call the shots.
I’m not the leader.
Or the ruler.
Or the queen’s command.

There’s a power far greater than me that’s running the show.

I’m merely a seed… a sliver… a microcosm of that power.

Absolutely, a measure of that omnipotence is vested in me.
As a child of God.
A creation of God.
Made in God’s image.

I am powerful because God is in me.
But yet and still…
Though God is in me…
I am not God.

And God is not a sitting duck for the meeting of my various desires and demands.

God is not a waiter inviting me to place my order.
God is not my manservant.
Or my handmaiden.
Or my beyotch.
Or my slave.
At my beck and call.
For the doing of my bidding.

It’s the other way around.
I’m God’s servant.
Devotionally… lovingly… doing her/his bidding.
Going where I’m divinely called.
To do and to say whatever divinity calls me to.

Willingly.
Not brattily or grumpily.
Not whiningly or grudgingly.

Gamely serving life.
Wherever I’m called.
However I’m called.
Attentively hearing and heeding the divine dictates.

Giving myself over to the unfolding plotline.
Come what may and come what might.
Letting life lead…
And have its way with me.

Even if I get ground in the gears.
Crushed into a fine wine.
Tumbled in life’s rock tumbler, only to emerge gleaming.

Subjected to a brutal, endless alchemy process.
Being forever forged in the fire.
Being forever husked.

Surrendering to the journey.
The journey as it is.
The journey as God is providing it.
Not the journey I wish it was.
Not the journey I keep begging for.
Barking at God to please, please bring it to me. NOW!!
To please give me life on MY terms…
Not on life’s own terms!

All the while calling this edge-filled beseeching a *prayer*.

Love + Oneness,
Naomi